Alan Riley

I read this article once, it talked about “seasons” that marriages go through. Anyone who has been in a relationship knows what I’m talking about. It’s those times that the relationship changes; like that special time right after marriage -the honeymoon phase, or when children come into the picture. Those good times and the bad. For instance, my husband and I are going through a season now. We had our second child recently even though this is a joyous time it’s been tough on our relationship. Getting used to having a whole other person who needs you night and day can do that to anyone no matter how long they have been together. Its so incredibly tough tying to connect as husband and wife when were always being mom and dad. I’m not just talking about sex but just being able to emotionally connect and spend time doing something with each other.

After having a baby we are each going through our emotional (and physical) turmoil. My poor husband is a saint, for most of my pregnancy I did not want to be touched, again not even sex, but cuddling- I couldn’t do it.  It has nothing to do with him but having a toddler at home who is always on you 24/ 7 one becomes quite touched out. My body would be so overly stimulated it would make my skin crawl when anyone touched me. So whenever I got the chance I wouldn’t let anyone touch me. Unfortunately that usually fell back onto my husband. I know my pulling back on affection hurt him and I am sorry for that.

Now that I’m 8 weeks out after having my son my body is starting to return to some semblance of “normal”. I’ve been making more of an effort to give him that affection even on those days I’m too tired or I don’t feel up to it; I know he can only understand what my body goes through to a certain extent and vise versa. As time passes though while we settle into being second time parents we will have days were all we want is to be together and days where we just flip each other off behind the others back. Even though life changes there will be good times and bad but just like with the seasons of the weather it will pass, we will get through it together and find our new normal.


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Author and contributor to Irie Parents: Rebecca Gravenor


Bio: Becky is a momma of two trying to get through the trenches of motherhood with a smile on her face and a chocolate bar in her hand. Her passions include reading dirty romance novels and being able to go to the bathroom without a toddler staring into her eyes. You can read more of her work at her website Diary of a Mom.

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